Green envy feels icky. Yet, it’s also temporary–when you stop avoiding it.
There are so many ways to feel envy: Envy of someone who is in a relationship. Envy of the someone’s material possessions. Envy of someone’s qualities.
Even though envy feels icky, facing envy is the first step towards dissolving it.
My Personal Story
Most recently, I felt a tinge of green envy as my coworker eloquently elaborated on her lesson plans for the next unit in front of our coach and supervisor.
When it was my turn to share my plans, with God’s grace, I said something simple. I also commented that my coworker’s plans sounded amazing, and I found myself sharing that I didn’t feel at her level yet.
I’d felt envy for a moment. Then I remembered that my coworker and I have different backgrounds. I’ve also consciously chosen to go at a slower pace because I want to prioritize peace in my life. Based on previous experience, stress can get the best of me.
In that moment, I honored my pace and our differences. I embraced a chance at growth. Sure, I don’t have elaborate plans and ideas now, but–with time–I will.
I have found that envy has so much value when you stop running away from it and face it instead.
Face your feelings
Acknowledge that you feel envy. Envy wants some love and attention so that it can go on about its way. Talk to your envy. Ask it the right questions.
Why do you feel envy?
Do you feel envy because someone is doing the things that you wish to be doing? Do you feel envy because someone has things that you don’t?
Your answers will let you know if you’re choosing what brings you happiness on a day to day basis.
If you’re sacrificing your happiness or putting it off for tomorrow, find ways to incorporate it back into your day. Notice, I wrote day, not week or month because you need something to look forward to every day.
On another note, your answers to the questions above can lead you to self love. For example, if you’re single and feel envious of someone who is in a relationship, remember your value. You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel worthy and love.
Green envy is here to guide you to a personalized path of healing. It leads to happiness. It leads to self love. Listen to your heart and intuition to help you understand what Envy is trying to tell you.
Choose what makes you happy
What brings you the type of happiness that becomes contagious? What did picture when you thought of your answer?
Often times, you sacrifice your happiness for what you think you “should” be doing. When your should’s stop aligning with your happiness, you find yourself discontent with life.
I so get it: There are so many things that arrive into one’s life that require you to put a dream on hold and have extra patience. Or you find that you need to do things that don’t bring you any happiness whatsoever.
However, I often remember what a customer, at a previous job, used to say when he dropped by to pick up a cup of coffee: If you’re not enjoying life, you’re doing it wrong. Life is meant to be enjoyed, despite the hardships.
Learn to love yourself. Loving yourself takes learning if you’re not used to it.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean treating yourself everyday to a cupcake. It doesn’t mean becoming self centered to the point that you stop caring about the rest of the world.
Self love can take shape in the form of discipline. And, personally, discipline isn’t always fun. For example, when you choose a healthier meal you show love to yourself by taking care of your health.
When you begin to love yourself by valuing yourself, your confidence increases. You begin to form clear boundaries on what works for you in your life and what doesn’t. You become open to receive things that you didn’t see for yourself before. Often they are better things than you previously allowed.
It was never a competition. About who has it better? Or who has the best [fill in the blank].
When you face the feeling of envy, it turns into something else: self-acceptance, confidence, and peace.
Instead of desiring what someone has or who someone is, remember that life is not about having more and more or about being that. Life is about having what’s enough for you, and only you know what is enough for you. Life is about being you without the need to imitate.
When Envy drops by welcome it. It wants to meet the abundance of Happiness and Love already present in your life.