All posts filed under: online journal

An Unexpected, Meaningful, and Unforgettable Ending

When I found out that one of my students was no longer on my attendance roster, I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it because school is over next week. This student taught me something about endings: endings can become unexpected at any moment. I was not prepared to see him go because I thought that, as is typical with the end of the school year, my students and I would part on the same day for our summer breaks. So this kiddo got his special time of grieving from me. I saw this student transform from a student who didn’t complete his assignments to a student that did, from a student who I constantly called out for behavior problems to a student who greeted me enthusiastically as he arrived to class. Why this student was no longer on my roster, I didn’t find out until this week. He never told me he was moving. When I asked his classmates why he left school, they said that they didn’t know. It turns out that he’s …

On Surrendering

I forgot how time-consuming job applications can be. (If you’re wondering why I haven’t been posting, that’s what I’ve been doing in my free time.) My dream is to “start my life” out of state, as if I wasn’t already living my life here. I know I want to take root somewhere, and it’s not in the city where I live. I’m learning to accept what’s out of my control, since I won’t know for sure if I’ll be moving until I get a job offer. Not knowing what the future holds for me makes me feel uncomfortable because I can’t start planning. Because I can’t predict the future, I’m coming to terms with the possibility of not getting to move this year. I’m coming to terms with both plan A and plan B. On one hand lies a sense of adventure to discover a new city and the challenge of building a foundation for myself there. On the other hand lies familiarity. My improved ability to live in the present moment is helping me …