If we were having coffee, what would you tell me? I would tell you that

When Grief made itself comfortable in a chair during dinner, I would’ve told you: Hope does not exist.

(Someone once told me that hope doesn’t exist. Because, according to them, it can’t be measured.) 

Do you believe in hope? The thing is, Hope has so many definitions. Someone else shared this quote with me: Hope has two beautiful daughters: their names are anger and courage. Anger that things are the way they are. Courage to make them the way they ought to be (this quote is by Saint Augustine).

All that time before the pandemic started, I thought I’d been as courageous as I’d ever been. You already know this: I moved to another state—470 miles away from the people I love the most (and who most love me). I did what my heart wanted me to do. 

It’s the type of thing I do when I run away from the things I don’t want to face. I don’t regret it. As a matter of fact, I’m sad my adventure ended so soon. Do you always do what your heart tells you to do?

You see, no matter how courageous I thought I was—doing things I’d never done before—I learned that the most courageous thing you can do is love someone with all their quirks.

A few months ago, I was angry—angry at the way things were. And sometimes I still am, but I’ll keep those details to myself. (It’s true that anger fuels you.) Have you heard of the stages of grief? Anger is one of them.

I prayed to God to help me with the grief, and I read a few chapters from the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (to keep me from thinking about the past—the days before the pandemic).

I cried my heart out (that always helps). I filled two journals in the span of (what was it?) the last 4 months because writing always helps, too. And look, I’m here. I feel a lot better than I did in April. 

All this while, when Grief made itself comfortable in a chair when I ate dinner, Hope was very there, too. Hope is always there during Spring when the grass turns green and the trees start filling up with leaves again.

(I thank God for the return of Hope and, also, for that family of mine who loves me even when I’m grumpy.)

How has this historic pandemic changed your life? Be honest—I don’t mind if you tell me that you’ve been experiencing quite the opposite. 

The reason I’m telling you this is because no how-to-cope-with-grief article would’ve helped me with the grief. I had to accept the loss and pain before I could move on.

I did read an article about grief, though, and I learned about another stage of grief: finding meaning. I’m currently in this stage. Although sometimes, I do still feel a bit of the other ones.

To find meaning, I had to believe in Hope again.

I could’ve written a how-to-cope-with-grief article without telling you my story, without telling you that the last few months have hurt like hell. (Look—here are my words to prove it.) Instead, I just want to have coffee and talk to you about the season of grief without the IG filter.

Your amiga,

Andrea

p.s. – Here’s another quote on hope I found: Hope is the virtue of a heart that doesn’t dwell on the past, and not only survives the present, but is also able to see a tomorrow (this quote is by Pope Francis). It’s one of my faves.

Surround Yourself with Love and Joy ~ by Kim Bedene from The Curated Heart ~ Guest Post

We’re facing uncertain times, and this can make us feel anxious, stressed and worried. It’s human to feel this way, so we shouldn’t judge ourselves for having a few bad days. But the good news is, there are little things we can do, that will help us transform and feel a little bit happier, and an important part of this is looking at what we surround ourselves with.

Are we surrounded by positivity and joy, or stress and negativity? Do we read things that make us laugh, or that leave us more worried than before? Are series and movies that we watch joyful and happy, or do we feel a bit on edge or even scared? What about people around us: do they encourage and reassure us, or are they leaving us with new problems to deal with? And the last thing to look at is our home; do we feel at peace or is our house just a big never-ending to-do list?

When we become aware of the little things that bring our spirit down, we become equipped with the knowledge to transform ourselves. And in times like these, it’s essential that we surround ourselves with as much positivity as we possibly can.

So look around you and start picking joy and love, over fear and negativity. Turn off the news and pick up a good book. Instead of worries taking over your mind and ruining your day, go outside or in a quiet room and meditate for a few minutes. And instead of focusing on everything that can go wrong, try to find as many things as you can that you’re grateful for. 

Little habits like these can change our days and weeks for the better, plus we can build some new routines that will help us even after all of this is over.

We’re all in this together, so let’s stay strong and positive 🙂

🍃

About Kim Bedene

I hope you found this little post inspiring, and with that, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Kim and I have a blog that is all about minimalism, decluttering and simple intentional living.

I believe we deserve to live peaceful and joyful lives and the things we own are often a big source of stress and dissatisfaction. That is why I’m helping people declutter their homes and wardrobes, so they find their quiet balance and they can finally enjoy their home.

If you have some time, I would be grateful if you check out my blog The Curated Heart where I share all simple living tips that I learned on my journey, and if you’re up for a little challenge, I invite you to check out my 5-day decluttering challenge that will help you let go of some things you don’t need or use anymore.

I truly wish everyone lots of peace and love and joy, and remember, this too shall pass. 

Follow Kim on WordPress & Instagram!

🍃 Blog: The Curated Heart

🍃 Instagram: @thecuratedheartblog

🍃 Check out Kim’s 5-day decluttering challenge 

Don’t let them get the best of you

There are times when negative thoughts want to get the best of you. Those days when you’re in a rut. Those nights when you can’t sleep and that inner voice drags you into a pit of disillusion.

When negative thoughts want to get the best of you, remember that negative thoughts don’t come from a place of love.

Say, for example, when you judge yourself for overeating or indulging on a sweet, and you make some harsh remarks about it, the love within you will not be harsh. The love within you will be understanding and patient.

Negative thoughts will also lie to you. They don’t let you appreciate your life. If the negative thoughts are about yourself, they don’t let you see your beauty and value. If the negative thoughts are about your life, they prevent you from appreciating all of the goodness already present in your life.

You have to be stronger than your negative feelings and thoughts. Acknowledge their presence, but don’t let them overpower the situation. Negative thoughts and feelings can inspire you to get back on track and to do the things that will bring you back to a peaceful state of being.

Photo by Heather Ford on Unsplash